I could do a whole practice maybe even should considering the increased running. But there is fatigue in my body. All that it asks for is Viparita Karani. So that’s what it has been yesterday and today. Rest with support to energise quietly. And I learn.
Something is shifting inside.
“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities”.
-Tradition 12 of The Twelve Step program
Despite a reticence to be in the spotlight, I do like being given credit for my thoughts. Whenever I have felt like my ideas have been taken up by others and made big, there was discomfort and resentment. I wanted to be known despite wanting to hide. My typical response then would be to withdraw and keep my thoughts to myself. I could not handle the thought that ‘I’ could be petty in my mind and heart.
Recently, there was a similar situation and there was a difference. I was glad to have shared something that found momentum through someone else’s voice on a larger platform. It didn’t matter that the thoughts were mine or that there was no mention of me. I was happy that the message was carried. And that was enough.
The wind and birds don’t think of growing a plant as they carry seeds. That’s the Vairagyam I need to cultivate. Practise, share and get on. It also opened my eyes to the fact that the thoughts were not really mine. They were lessons transmitted to me which I had experienced but they were not mine.
I haven’t done anything for this change. It happened. I like to think of it as grace freely given. Hope I can give as freely and without thought.
In gratitude
I am thinking a lot about anonymity vs the need to feel recognised or credited. I like the practice of non-attachment to your ideas. Hard in this world of big personalities I think!
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It is a humbling experience as well. It is not my thoughts, my experiences or my anything really. I am just a medium and I hold on to all these things as though they are mine.
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The idea of anonymity has been a focus for me too. My prayer is that my sadhana will break down any impediments to the Divine will flowing through me. That I might become invisible. That only the Divine be seen.
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Luminous…
Pranaam
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