While in savasana today, there was a thought about how balance is not about balance but balancing. Sort of like homeostasis. It is a set of moments of steadiness which makes it a balance. What we seek or should seek is not balance but a steadiness, a comfort with the act of being steady, moment after moment. Sthira. Sukha. Asanam. Asana is a shaping of space in time, until it is free from the constraints of both.
I’ve been observing classes this week since getting the Covid bug. I watch tiny squares with bodies in different stages of entering, staying and exiting the poses. And I see fatigue in many students, the fatigue of an isolated practice. It must be hard for the teachers too. Everyone doesn’t enter the pose at the same time, camera angles are different, internet glitches etc mean that even the teaching is mostly a one way street. How much harder it is to unify energy that is dissipated across so many homes? And yet, there has been progress for many thanks to the class coming home.
This evening, I watched the class I demonstrate for and was reminded again of why we spend so much time in ‘straightening’ the hands and legs, ‘extending’ the spine, ‘lifting’ the chest. I remember my early struggles especially in Adho Mukha Svanasana. Recently in one of the classes, my teacher gave an interesting analogy of a 4 wheel drive in the pose. It made for an experiencing of the actions in each of the 4 limbs differently and to see how they all come together in one unified movement, despite their differences. Fine tuning like the old radios, again an analogy by the same teacher.
Back to balance, for example ardha chandrasana was always a tricky pose to maintain. The minute I thought I had it, I would lose balance. It was not a matter of practice, it was a matter of approach to understand how ‘sthira‘ and ‘sukha‘ were not just characteristics of asana but also a mind and breath space to inhabit them. And in the process, control came, balance was established and the joy of the asana was experienced. ‘Imagine a vast ardha chandrasana‘ like my teacher mentioned in one of the classes a couple of months ago.
Observing classes is so different for me now from what it was even a couple of years ago. Back then, it was an intellectual understanding, now I’m able to tap into memory to remember sensations of the different actions. But that was a necessary stage, to learn to look and hear. It allowed me to see and listen beyond just the shapes and observe quietness, activity, dullness, luminosity, etc. The sutras 46 to 48 in sadhana pada talk about this at a more exalted level of the soul, which is light years away for the likes of me. But even at the level of body, breath and mind, it is joyous.
Sometimes forced breaks are good. The pandemic gave me 5 classes a week plus time on the mat. A lot of input, doing and experiencing but not as much time devoted to articulating it. That too is necessary as one creates a lexicon of asana through one’s own understanding. We each do this differently, through the lens of our passions and interests whether music, art, literature, science, nature, etc. This period of doing nothing but observing in savasana has been good to allow the cream of various lessons to come to the surface. As always, I feel incredibly lucky to have come across this system of study which is at once so simple and so deep in its enquiry. There is something for everyone.