Wordpress informs me that I’ve been a blogger on this platform for 11 years. My very first blog on the site was a space to simply dabble in words with no clear intent. That site has been inactive for a long while now. Shortly after, I began a blog to document my running journey. That remained active for as long as I continued to run. Alongside that came up this blog to record some of the impressions as a student and practitioner of yoga and it has been a constant. Somewhere in the interim, there was yet another page to muse about anything that caught my fancy which has also been dormant. I suppose yoga really is the subject of my enquiry.
At the moment, there is not much bandwidth to write. Many of the things that feed my spirit are missing from everyday life with its pace. In the last few months, I’ve not been able to spend as much time outdoors or read or simply be. Commitments at the institute have kept me fully occupied. While the learning continues to be incredible, there is also fatigue, mental more than physical. Mostly, it springs from the anatarayas (1.30-31) that Patanjali elucidates in the beginning. The rest is a natural cascade into “wrong understanding and false conceptions” which generate “wrong feelings and taint the consciousness. This hinders the sadhaka in his efforts to experience the seer, and may create a dual or split personality.” (1.8)
I forget that the solution is elegant and given almost immediately after stating the potential causes. As soon as Patanjali talks about the obstacles in the path, he indicates the preventive measures in 1.32, “Adherence to single-minded effort prevents these impediments.” He then continues in a series of sutras to open out various ways in which to still the mind and consciousness (1.34-39).
While vrittis are harder to pin down, the kleshas are more easily identifiable with chief among them being avidya in which nests all others. Avidya is followed by asmita, raga, dvesha and abhinivesha. From 2.24-2.29, Patanjali lists out the cause and treatment of the same. The rest of the chapter is devoted to opening the first four of the eight limbs of yoga.
Why all this reference to the sutras? Why the need to pin the various spots that I can identify? Simply because private study has always been my recourse to making sense of my world. I miss that terribly but find myself in a loop of activity. On the surface, it appears necessary but is it really? There is much that is accomplished but the price is heavy and I feel the weight of what is essentially a lightness. An outsider probably sees a different picture but the insides are what matter.
As a marker of time, I could list out a whole bunch of things that happened from November and continue at a breakneck pace. There were a whole load of activities, Yoganusasanam, Guruji’s birth anniversary celebrations, a medical intensive which is ongoing. I’ve substituted for a few classes, taken visiting students on tours of the place and helped out in the office in addition to attending classes, assisting in them and documenting archival material. 2024 is packed with events commemorating 50 years of RIMYI and will see the same pace of activity. It is great to have such energy and buzz. But, at heart, I am a student and that part feels a bit dry. I need irrigation of the spirit. This blog has been one such. Perhaps the universe knew I needed a hand and gave the nudge with the notification of an anniversary to help come back.
The intention with this blog was not readership as much as it was about sharing my experiences in the hope that it would find someone who might find use. This space has brought me incredible gifts of friendship and so much more. Back when I started to write about my RIMYI life, I never imagined finding myself where I am. It is humbling to see the extent of the rewards of practice. One of the sweetest gifts has been finding like minded studentship. Setbacks and plateaus like the current state are part of the road and are simply opportunities to reaffirm one’s commitment to life’s seeking.
I am grateful for the ability to have this space and the love and encouragement of my fellow travellers. Thank you for being on my road.
anonymous sadhaka 