Watching the waves take everything away…

The sea calls to my heart more than the mountains and there are many quiet memories that I can recall quite vividly. The sounds of the waves and wind, the feel of the tiny specks of sand that would somehow find its way into everything I wore, the smell of the salt water and so on. I’ve seen things lost to the waves and how they’ve been swept away without a hope of return. I see something like that happening in my life now. Almost all asanas are riding the wave back to the sea and I’m left on the shore…

The knee problem turned out to be three partially torn ligaments which collectively are a fairly severe issue. It would need surgical repair according to a couple of doctors and a complete break from Asana. I have yet to meet the specialist for a final verdict. In the meanwhile, I have been protective of my knee and taking care. My first thought on getting to know was dismay that even yogasana would be gone. The second was that of Mathew Sanford. That put things in perspective.

Somehow the loss of running was bearable because I could swim and had a yoga practice to fall back on. And in the range of asanas, the inversions became a friend for various reasons. I haven’t been to a class since 10 days and miss the learning already. But, there’s also a strong voice inside that reminds me of a larger picture that I cannot see.

Once I do get back to asana, I will need to start from scratch and it should be interesting to be a beginner with a little prior experience to draw upon. Injuries and setbacks are always excellent teachers. In the meanwhile, there is always savasana.

My only regret is that I didn’t get the scan earlier, I could have saved my knee a lot of unnecessary pain. I’ve been reading about it and gathered that it was likely to have occurred as a result of an impact. I’ve never paid attention to those kind of incidences and so cannot remember when it might have happened.

I’m still hoping that there is a way around this but if not, let’s see what adventures the sea holds.

Daughter of the wind?

If I had to have a deity as a parent, it would probably be Lord Hanuman, the son of the Wind. Simply because I feel like the wind and all things that relate to the endless skies and vast spaces. Sometimes that includes having my head in the clouds. 😊

Recently, I was in Chennai to attend a wedding and wished to visit the Kapaleeshwar temple but somehow that wasn’t possible. Unexpectedly and without even knowing about the Anjeneya temple, I found myself there, right at the time of the aarti. S was with me and it was once again apparent that I don’t go to a temple, the temple pulls me when it is time. The 32 feet black idol of Lord Hanuman is made of a single granite rock and is housed behind enormous wooden doors. At the time of the aarti, the doors are opened and the energy of the worship is palpable. Offering made, prasad received and we made our way out into the bustle of the temple market outside. There was a little store right there and before I knew it, I bought a miniature of the same idol. Back home, I looked at it closely and saw the resemblance of Guruji in his face. The power and serenity of a jitendriya.

Below is a picture of the great siddha from the internet. I did take a picture at the temple before I was told that cameras were not allowed. And there is another moral dilemma. Should I share it or delete it from my phone? It’s still very much with me and I don’t wish to erase it. It got me thinking of the restriction against taking pictures at certain temples. Something to do with the energy, I suppose but how is not yet revealed.

As an ideal, Lord Hanuman is a great role model. Flawless devotion, knowledge, wisdom, immense power and humility are amongst his innumerable qualities. He is said to be a master of the siddhis and a brahmachari par excellence. His Ramayana rendition is said to have made Sage Valmiki insecure and Lord Hanuman’s magnanimous heart was such that he tore it to shreds that the world may remember the sage’s retelling. His reasoning was that his Ramayana was for him to remember Shri Ram while that of the Sage was for the world to remember. (from a children’s book by Devdutt Pattnaik).

It’s an interesting perspective and one that is personally relevant too.

I’ve found a renewed passion for writing and the only rule that seems to work for me is to write for myself. And I find that it resonates strongly with many people.

I’ve been using Instagram as a medium of writing and it’s been a revelation. It’s been overwhelming to see how many folks have written privately and publicly about similar experiences. End of the day, our lives are the same, joys, sorrows, laughter, pain, brokenness and a deep need to love. Another incident was one of the relatives at the wedding saying that she felt inspired to be courageous after chatting with me. I share this not out of pride but joy, happy that someone could use my experience to find new vigour to face their life.

No coincidence since I’ve stopped believing in those. Today our teacher referenced one of Guruji’s quotes which is my motto in life too. ‘Live happily, die majestically’. It’s a thought echoed by all the realised masters. Sat-chit-ananda

Hari Om

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